How to look more confident when you’re making small talk

Episode 25
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Today, I’m going to breakdown 4 things you can do, to look more confident when you’re making small talk.

Small talk is a funny thing. In English culture, it serves as a social glue and can be the first step you need to take to make friends and influence people.

The irony is, small talk often happens before a relationship is formed. It’s the prelude to a conversation and in some cases, it won’t develop beyond from small chit chat into a heartfelt deep and meaningful. And this is one of the reasons why small talk can feel so uncomfortable. 

In today’s episode of The Little Shot™, I want to talk about 4 things you can do that will instantly make you look more confident while you’re making small talk. And once you know you look more confident, chances are, you’ll feel more comfortable too.

I hope you like this one!

Look Confident Making Small Talk

When it comes to confidence, there’s always a huge gap between looking confident and actually feeling confident when you’re under pressure.

Small talk can be really challenging for most people. But with a few strategies, you can look less stressed during it.

Scroll to watch 5-minute episode and get some great ideas on how to look more confident when making small talk. 

1. Proxemic Behaviours & Small talk

The way you stand and face will impact on how your listener views and even trusts you when making small talk.

Top TipHow to Stand Well

Here, you’re aiming for symmetry. Not only will this make you look more confident, you’ll sound it too.

Good voice tone and projection counts on your ability to align your posture effectively so you can access optimal breath support. Our voice services will show you exactly how posture, breath and tone work together to boost your communication impact.

2. Oculesic Behaviours & Small Talk

The eyes are the window to your soul and in small talk, make sure you sort out your gaze, eye contact and view frame!

Here you want to think about how your eye contact sets your conversation partner at ease.

If you focus your attention and energy more on the other person and seek to refer to their face comfortably with your gaze, you’ll not only look more confident but you’ll also probably increase rapport-building opportunities when making small talk.

Remember, it’s not ok, to look away!

But also, don’t stare too hard, or you might freak them out!

Balance your eye contact and gaze and also watch for fast eye movements as that will make you look more anxious and stressed. Aim to calmly alternate your focus on concrete things you see in front of you, like, the frame of the person’s glasses, the shape of their face, their smile. This can help you stop peering intently or avoiding eye contact.

3. Kinesic Behaviours and Small Talk

The way you move, shapes your groove when making small talk.

Here, you’re aiming for calm, balanced flowing movements and open posture.

When we are experience stress and performance pressure, it’s normal to flap our hands around too much or move with edgy small movements.

To appear more confident practice using slow and flowing movements. This will also reduce distractions for your conversation partner and help them feel more relaxed.

A tip for you from my experience on stage as an opera singer:

Monitor your breathing, if you’re anxious and gasping fast, chances are your body movements will match. Aim for calm, slow breaths and you might find your body movements will soften and free up.

How to look more confident when you’re making small talk

Episode 25

This little shot is scheduled for 10 am on Tuesday the 10th of November, 2020. If you arrive here earlier, don’t forget to turn on notifications via the YouTube premiere button so you can be first to know once the mini-tutorial pushes live.

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4. Vocalic Behaviours and Small Talk

Small talk doesn’t mean small voice!

If you notice your voice tone slipping when you’re talking through difficult conversations or struggling to find the words, watch out!

Your ability to keep your voice resonant and acoustic will directly influence how confident you appear when speaking.

In particular, take care to sound interesting and interested when speaking.

We’ve got a mini-tutorial on that which you should definitely check out!

It’s important to engage in small talk even if it doesn’t feel very comfortable. 

In English culture, small talk helps you establish mutuality, trust and rapport and will help your social interaction immensely.

Just because it can be challenging, doesn’t mean you should avoid it.

Which tip in today’s episode are you going to pay attention to when you next make small talk?

Let me know in the comments below.

As I always say Communication is like string theory, it’s the foundation of everything, so keep working through your pain points because that’s where you can strengthen your weaknesses.

Thank you so much for watching and I’ll see you next time.

Ciao for now!




Cassell, J. & Bickmore, T. (2001). Negotiated Collusion: Modeling Social Language and its Relationship Effects in Intelligent Agents. User Modelling and User-Adapted Interaction. 13. 10.1023/A:1024026532471. 5


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